Clearly, I'm not a daily blogger. For that matter, I'm not a monthly or yearly blogger, but my journey has had me a bit busy!
We had moved to Valley Center, KS, when I last blogged - for those counting that was 18 months ago. If I had known then what I know now............ Well, I may have prepared myself better! Though sometimes when refinement is necessary, no amount of preparation could or would make a difference.
Rather than giving you the "blow by blow" from the last year, I'll just give you what I've learned - likely in segments. Some are still pretty raw!
First up: Be Who you ARE!
Hi, my name is Anna Hastings and I am an introverted, wife of a pastor, that takes her time getting to know people, making friends, and trusting people.
I sort of feel like I need to say that every time I meet someone now - but I don't. In the residency that Caleb did, one of the important goals for the year is to catch the resident up to the relational level that the people who are helping you build the church have with their friends. NO. SMALL. FEAT. I never gave too much thought to how much of an introvert I am until this residency! I had the worst time trying to start fast friendships. It's just not who I am. That said, I've met some amazing people I would never have met, had I not been forced to!
After being here for 7 months, I decided that I needed to find some women who would understand what it's like to be a wife of a pastor/church planter. So, I called a few of the church planter wives and a pastors wife that I knew and asked them if they'd like a standing girls night out. That 's out of character for me. I generally would prefer people ask me to do things. However, when push comes to shove and you need some friends, you do what ya gotta do! I'm thankful for some pretty amazing women that said yes to that proposition. They have proven their trustworthiness in many ways and understand! You know who you are and I'm thankful!
I've also made mistakes. I was in need of friends way before 7 months of being in Kansas. It's hard to move to a new spot, meet lots of new people and only have your husband to talk to. (I know I'm a wife of a pastor, so clearly God is there as well - don't worry he was well aware of the situation!) I missed my friends! Unfortunately, the ones I could talk to were all in Iowa and sometimes you need more than a phone call! So, I went through the people I knew and basically picked one I felt I could talk to. NEVER. DOING. THAT. AGAIN! Just because I chose them, does not mean they chose me - even if it seems like they did. Time in a friendship helps you see whether or not a person is trustworthy, caring, selfish, kind hearted, gentle, etc. It's not wise to rush things simply because you are lonely. It's worth it to know that the friendship will last and trust is established - betrayal of trust hurts worse than loneliness.
Which leads me to the next thing I learned:
Gossip - the worst form of betrayal.
I'll leave that for next time!
